It’s amazing how 2 days of competition bring a new gusto to my spirit. It was so good to be out there and playing. The game of golf has always been my comfort blanket and it clearly still is. I’m just like most of you now in that I try too hard to play to good instead of just letting it go. It’s a trap of the worst kind. However, I have a way out and some of you don’t. I must simply just play in more events and that will all pass as competition will breed relaxation.  On my woman roll, it’s very much like 1^st dates vs 4th dates so to speak.

The pain was not so much fun, however and that is a piss-me-off-dilemma. I was up all night Friday as in zero sleep but amazingly enough the day was relatively painfree (for me that is) -  that night was ballistic. I’m in a serious quandary because I’ll endure the agony of playing because I enjoy the golf that much, but I can’t get myself to prepare myself if I don’t know if I’m going to get an exemption – another reason why the decision of the tour has hurt me so. Wow, I’m a jumping hyena and not sure if I’m even speaking English.

Anyway, I was relatively pleased with the play and must decide if I’m going to play in the PGA Seniors in the end of May ( May 24-27, 73^rd Senior PGA Championship http://www.pga.com/seniorpga/2012 The Golf Club at Harbor Shores, Benton Harbor, Mich.), but the reports on the course are the terrain is simply way to hard so I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Back to the dilemma issue, like do you ask her out again or are you afraid of rejection?

Be good my friends and enjoy your golf,

Ken

[Legends of Golf, Apr. 20-22 Savannah http://www.pgatour.com/tournaments/s504 w/Radar Reid]

=> http://www.pgatour.com/2012/tournaments/s504/04/13/teams-announced/index.html

My biggest problem was my posture. When you are not set up to the ball properly you increase the potential errors you can do wrong by 10-fold.  I’ve had a few days to try and improve it and was doing better ‘till I went out on the course for my pro-am today. It was hysterical how bad I hit it. I’ve never in my life hit so many pull snap hooks off the tee. I literally hit 11 out of 14 ugmos. The good news is that I still have till Friday to square it up. This shows you how bizarre this game is – the driver was decent and the irons were suspect during these past few days and today it went the complete opposite. Classic golf!

This Bubba character seems to really just enjoy his golf and life so I was glad to see him pull it off. I really believe that golf has to allow their characters to just be themselves. The tour has tried to mold everyone into a certain cupcake, and that’s just wrong. I firmly believe that you will never play your best golf if you are not you on the course. Trevino, Jack are perfect examples. They are who they are and played golf that way also. Nick Faldo is now Mr. Charm and wit. Is that the real Nick or was the arrogant sob him? If this is the real Nick now, maybe if he allowed himself to be himself back then he would have won even more majors and tournaments. Then again maybe he’s just pulling smoke out of his arse nal now to grab even more cash.

Well Mr. Munch and I are now to secure the wild cat for dinner.

Be good,

Ken

= = = = = = = = = = = = =
Note from Col. – look what I just Googled to!

4-18-2012, Friends of Richter Park invites community members to attend a fundraising breakfast and see PGA golfer Ken Green receive the Key To The City of Danbury from Mayor Mark Boughton from 7:30-9am May 15 at the Matrix Corporate Center, 39 Old Ridgebury Road, Danbury. FORe is looking for supporters to sponsor a table of 10, attend the breakfast, or donate items to the raffle. The Savings Bank of Danbury is a major sponsor of the event.  To donate a raffle or auction item or sponsor a table, contact Ernie Badillo at ebadillo@goodfellows.comor or Leroy Diggs at ldiggs@matrixrealtygrp.comby .

http://www.newstimes.com/news/article/Danbury-Neighbors-3492409.php

Being as that we are in full bloom this week with the azaleas and Augusta, I thought I would babble on about a few memories.

1- The 16th hole skip shot in practice rounds that all seem to give it a try now was started by yours truly (goal is to skip and keep on the green – Calc and I used to play 100 whip out if the shot was pulled off)

2- The kids caddying in the Wed. Par3 was also starters by me – in fact I got a letter asking me not to do it again and now they actually make uniforms up for the little guys & girls

3- I may be the only participant to have to sneak members of your family into Augusta via the floor and trunk

4- Hord Hardin, ex-chairmen, once told a CBS member, “that Ken Green is a pain in my ass”

5- People think I don’t like the Masters, but it’s the powers at be that disgusted me, not the event. The event is awesome – today’s chairmen seems to be a better fit but they still think they are God’s chosen people

6- I have more fines from Augusta than anywhere – it was like they had officials all over the place and shazam, as soon as I did something shaky I was flagged. Some were legit I may add.

7- Augusta power to be once told to get a better control on my wife. Fat chance on that one

8- I once hit my 3rd shot out of the water on 13 and as I was hitting the ball there was a rush of water that came from the back end, and my club touched the water on my backswing. Before I had a chance to even say something to my partners, the official camping running down to tell me that I touched the water with my club. It was like it was a planned release of some water from their damn system and they wanted to nail me to the post. I also once hit it out of the woods on 13 from the back left area, after I pulled hooked my 3-Wood into the azaleas. I elected to hit the shot and had to move away from the area and take many whacks at the azaleas to see if I could actually get the club through the flowers. After about 10 different whacks I went over and hit the shot out and actually hit a good shot. I however left immense carnage of the azalea clan. I actually felt bad. That night they had replaced every one I destroyed, and it looked like I was never there.  I being the clueless wonder never even thought that was possible.

9- I’ve had the low round of the day there twice

10- I’ve had without a doubt the best one day of putts ever at Augusta. It was stupid crazy how long and how many putts I made in my very first round at Augusta. I was tied for the lead and I was asked if I would be nervous as this was my first round and the lead and all that good ship. I said, no I have no chance I’m hitting it like a pig and it has nothing to do with nerves when I slip from the lead.

Ken

Another fluke injury has put golf on the burner now for all most 3 weeks.  Sadly it will be at least another 2 weeks before I can probably play. I did get the pleasure of listening to Johnny Miller the past couple of weeks. I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter what everyone who is near the lead and doesn’t play so well is a complete choker, at least that’s his opinion. Sometimes he has forgotten that you just don’t play very well. Golf is a tough game and it’s not always nerves that suck you into the hole.

Back to jumping that I do best and it’s going to be a complete mystery how I play with “Radar” aka Mike Reid, now that I will not be able to put much into the game. We are going to play in the Raphael division of the legends so our event will be 36 holes which might actually give us a better chance of being competitive.  This group has players that aren’t as sharp as the other. Mike might be a knife, but I’m a spoon when it comes to sharpness. [Apr. 20-22 Savannah http://www.pgatour.com/tournaments/s504 ]

Speaking of playing well on Sunday’s, I’ve had the lead or tied 9 times in my career and won 8 of them (Japan, Hong Kong and Morocco) – pretty good record. I’ve won 9 total worldwide and the Tour. The one I didn’t, I still ended up with low score after 72 holes but just lost in a playoff so that’s pretty good too. Seve beat me in Westchester with a bunker shot that I still think one of the best shots I’ve seen hit considering the lie he had.  20+ years ago, and I still see it like today. Plus the piece of piss-me-off had a seriously bad lie chip in on 18 that I will never forget. (Saturday, but still cost me). He had unbelievable hands.

I love the fact the the media loves to talk about how good someone is done the stretch, but these dopes must understand that if you don’t play the first 63 well, you don’t have a chance to win. The first hole is just as important has the 72 hole. Not counting me, cause I suck, it’s like saying the reporter wrote a great piece because the last 2 sentences were brilliant but the first 3 paragraphs were idiotic. He’s a pressure writer. It’s like saying a husband who fools around the first 20 years of marriage but stops for the last 10 is a great husband.

Ok, I’ve jumped around enough so take care and get ready to start playing golf for those of you in the great north.

Best,

Ken

I’ve just started golfing again and we will see if we are doing better. I’m scared, if truth be known, because if it doesn’t help much the prospect of playing real golf is slim. I desperately need the tension out of my body to have a chance to play good golf.

I have to confess that I despise Valentine’s Day. I have never gifted anyone with a symbol of my love. I do creative things all year and the thought that I’m told to do it annoys me to no end. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day fall in the same boat. If you don’t appreciate them the other days, you are not a good person.

Phil played great round to win the AT&T event and Tiger played poorly. Things go in cycles – we had 3 straight weeks where someone fell apart. Hard to figure how and why, but that’s golf.  Jump as I do, the tension issue is a huge part of golf, I firmly believe that when Tiger becomes happy with himself and his life, he will start to putt close to how he used to. Putting is simply about faith, when you are as good as we are. Of course, sometimes you are doing something physically wrong, but that’s is easy to fix. The difference then is simply how much confidence you have in yourself, which in a way is a byproduct of how happy and content you are in your life. It’s kind of like whether you believe in the other side as in God and the afterlife, or you don’t. Life is easier when you do, and it’s pure nightmare if you’re an atheist and crap things keep happen. I know, bizarre analogy.

I’m playing in a couple of small events in the next few weeks and it will be interesting to see how the body reacts and if the swing is calmer. I played yesterday and was psyched because I had a new putter and had come up with a new idea. On the practice green, I made every putt and on the course I was pathetic. That’s the brain going haywire, I actually was to excited or tried too hard, and it backfired big time. That’s the key to understanding your brain. When you are at your calmest, you will play better. If you figure out how to do that, you will become the next gazillioaire.

Mike Reid has asked me to play with him in the Legends golf event this year [Apr. 20-22 Savannah http://www.pgatour.com/tournaments/s504 ]. I told him I was still just fair and I didn’t want to prevent him from possibly keeping his card as he is not exempt for life like some. He said to me that the friendship we had developed was far more Important than money, and that if he couldn’t make it in the other 24 events he’d play poorly in and that’s the way it is. I’m once again stunned and honored that he would do that for me and our friendship.  It’s a great feeling when you know someone understands the meaning of life. So now it’s up to the powers that be and give me (us – Mike is already exempt) an exemption. I really hope it works, and believe it will. No one knows how much it means to me to play inside the ropes. I can’t figure out why it means so much even.

Best to All,

Ken

So being as I’m wondering what to do to vent, I say speak stupid things Ken. “Not Gungrump”, who is running for the GOP spot to battle the holy one, has irked me today. First of all is character is flawed and we all know it. His ego is similar to all who are in the planets gift to the world, off the charts. His IQ is only 100 or so more than me but the issue I have is this. He made about $3.1 million gross last year. He donated less than 3% to charity. How on God planet can you be so thoughtless? I will not vote for him just for that alone, and I’m not at all a fan of the Obama policies. I live off the money my friends and strangers were kind enough to help me through this ordeal, until I can get back on track. I get 5 pills a month and this past year I gave 1/3 of it to help others. I’m not saying he should be giving 33% to others, but please tell me that’s brutal. I guess that Tiffany line is there for a reason.

It is my belief that it is my job to do whatever I can to help others, no matter how I do it. Either with money, golf, inspiration or anything else I come up with. I pray that I will always remember that I’m afloat because of kindness and I’m going to go out and return it in triple if I can. I will preach to any that they go that extra step and do just a little more than normal.

I received a bazooka shot in the head today for my blistering headaches and I’m very encouraged that we are going to see some results. I’m even more excited about the fact that if we do get relief, I might be able to get a freeze to this part of the head and that would be some sort of permanent relieve, a year or so. I’ve bitched enough about my double pain, so I’m trying to get away from that as I’m refocusing my game plan.

I will be allowed to swing again the first of the month, and am absolutely psyched. I can’t wait to go man v legless wonder to see if we can get better than what I am now. If I had to be honest, I would say I’m about 6 shots worse than I use to be (flat courses -hilly no chance).  My hope is to get it to 3. I will never be the same, but fork it I’m going to keep trying.

If you don’t want to receive any blogs please let me or Col know, as I don’t want to bore, insult, crudedme,(new KG word) or anything else.  I was scolded like the good old days for my Top10 blog, which means I had to take “bean demon” off my list. Waiting for Funny Tummychum to ask next.

On a serous point I just quickly bang out picks for the early birds and some may very well not want anything to do with my skills as a bloggolferleglessdude.

Be good my friends,

Ken

10) I get to use the handicap parking spots

9) It’s much easier for me to roll over while in a sexual frenzy if you elect to alter the current position

Women don’t look at me as a threat but a nice sympathetic man who needs love

7) If I so desire I can bring Mr. Munch with me wherever I so desire

6) I am the best one legged bowler on the planet – 201 avg.

5) Spirits from the other side are talking to me now

4) I don’t have to get up and get out of bed in the middle of the night if I have to go pee wee, I just use the male urinal and then Munch flushes for me

3) Because I live on pain medicine I have an insane ability to remain very active while in the middle of love making which allows my girl to be happy for a long, long time (damn I phrased that so delicately don’t you think?)

2) I’ve been able to satisfy an urge to be a writer. All my life I wanted to be and simply had no skills or intelligence. Even though I still have none, I now have at last count 36 people whose days are now better when I release my inner thoughts

1) I am the best one legged golfer in the universe

Be good my friends,

Ken

So, most of you know I’ve been sitting on my butt recovering – I do that well, I may add. Anyway, besides losing my once powerful glutes (girls loved these things when I displayed them in public, I may add again), I was playing musical channels and hit the golf channel on some wishes for 2012. Now, because I’m feeling so much better I have no choice but to lambast them. I’m starting to think I need to go to work for them because they have lost it. I do believe that Palmer would not allow them to hire me because he’s afraid of my vocal chords – I am too.

Anyway, I’m confused how guys who used to be golfers turn into rambling dopes once they become “media”. Brandle Chamblee is a good guy, but he’s starting to catch the JM disease of liking to hear himself too much, and now he’s throwing in a little McCord and using vocabulary that normal people refuse to use. They are big on saying how it’s a big new global game. Understand this: golf survives because of the USA and nothing else. They are preaching ‘global golf’ because they cover it – it’s a self-serving goal.

Luke Donald had a wonderful year, but ask any player what he would want – two wins and the money title or 2 wins with one a major. The players need to make up their minds what they cherish the most, majors or pure consist golf.  Like yell majors, then bone Keegan. It must be male putt-a-pause. The Golf Channel loves the world rankings, so I think they should invent rankings for golf writers and TV reporters.

Luke stated he thought Rory had more natural talent than Tiger – holy ship he must be drinking out of the claret jug, wait, he must have been with d Claris house. That comment is like saying politicians are doing a great job. I like Rory, I do think his career will be fantastic, but there is no way you can compare to two at this stage, nor when he hits 35 I think. I hope Rory stays as Rory and doesn’t get stuffed into the right mode baloney. He’s a good man as he is. Now on that point, he is clearly better than Tiger.

I do believe that Lexi Thompson will be a dominant player and only she knows what is in her heart in terms of motivation. However, if she does have that spirit, she will rip Annika and all the other records from the books. I’m thinking of having a sex change: I’m already hitting it like a girl, I have no ass, I’m bald, so I can use a multitude of wigs and I can just go gay, as I’m not giving up women for men.

I’m not sure if there can be a better year for golf than last year when you think about all the different stories, but I hope they can followup in 2012, as I truly believe the game needs help. The powers to be and power players need to get off their selfish glutes and come up with a game plan to revive the game.

On a more important note, I’m hoping to hit some balls by the end of the month and then I will do a full press and see if the body can withstand daily golf. I had such high hopes that I was going to pull this off when the accident occurred, and I never ever thought that I would be put in prison for 2 years.

Do you know that my unique charm & personality doesn’t mix very well with a European beauty?  Those euros are on a different planet. I’m starting to understand why we left them way back when. But, because I’m such a love,r I’m going to keep working on her. We Americans are persistent, yes?

By the way my last bowling series before the knockout was a 738, 246 avg. Sweet momma!

Best in 2012 to all of you my friends,

Ken

I’m stuck in bed due to rashes that will not allow me to put on my leg by the way. Part of this nasty world I’m living, one more day (been 3) and I should be good to go.

Do you know that my mom once saw a psychic who said I would be going to a new area where there are mountains and that I would come away as the winner.  She told her this before the news broke that we would be going to playing at Castle Pines and the International.  I won the first one.

I’m not so sure I shouldn’t have won the 2^nd, as John Cook never signed a scorecard and should have never been playing the final round. (truth be told is that I don’t know if the person who should have been playing would have beaten me, but I’m guessing no.  The sad thing is that the tour made the decision when they found out, not sure when but a year or so – there is no doubt in my mind that their personal opinion of me was a factor in not doing the right thing. This was also right in the time of the PING lawsuit that I was a part of. Add it up and it smells. It has turned out to cost me dearly, as one of the reasons the Tour said I was not given my year back was because I was not fully exempt in that I was potentially not eligible for every event.  If I had a 6th win, I would have been ahead of the other 2 who had 5 wins and would have been “fully guaranteed”.  

Another strange twist of lies from the Tour is this: another reason they gave me was that they didn’t want to add me to the field because they didn’t want to go to 81 or more players in the field. Just keep it at 78. They have just approved an amendment and decided to play with 81 players, so now they can give more spots to the open qualifiers.  I’m very happy they have done this – it’s the right thing to do – please don’t misunderstand me and I’m not ripping the players as much as the top of the chain. The players have helped me in many ways, and they are the ones responsible for me being able to get my new ‘I Walk’ foot that is fantastic for moving around. Mike Reid is the one who started the ball rolling for the 2nd year of Pro-Am money going to me.

The costs for my up keep is stupid expensive – insurance companies are brutal on what they cover for prosthetic care. If you knew how many families can’t afford new leg for their kids, you would be amazed. Most companies only cover one leg and kids grow, so just add it up. I’ve said too much.

Have a merry Xmas Everyone,

Ken