Ken Greens Blog #204 – 3/26/14 1:05am (Fine-tuning New Leg, Lining Up Some Tourns)
So, Leg #176 has been really good, but we did find a few hiccups. After 5 hours at the fix my forking leg shop, I do believe we are now using a better version of Leg 176b. The really great news is that this evil little brain which refuses to stop creating has come up with a new ad on to the new version that might damn well be the Holy Grail. I know they’ve been searching for that puppy for a long time so it’s about time it was found.
I will clearly look like I’ve lost my marbles when I golf, but most think that anyway. I will have 2 left feet and I will be playing barefoot. The good news is I’m currently going with pink toe nails as I just helped out in the play for pink cancer event. I’m going to let the first few kids sign their name on my foot if they don’t freak out and scream for the vampire slayer first.
I’m going to try and play the Atlanta event [April18-20, Greater Gwinnett Championship, TPC Sugarloaf, Duluth, GA, purse=$1,800,000], which I thought I might get in by my medical, but that doesn’t look so good so I’m going with the exemption letter #16, and for those that are counting I’m now 2-15, so the pros who thought I was a lock and refused to give me my major medical were wrong, and big wrong I may say. Sorry, I couldn’t hold that back even though I’ve said that before.
The good news is I’m waiting for a call back from the Champions Tour president so we will chat about the future. It’s only been 3 weeks since I left the last message, so I know I should be right on his next call list. Don’t you ????
Skip away I go, and so now I’ll let you know the Trackman was telling me I was flying some drives 260, which I know the damn machine was lying, but she was so convincing I ordered a new one. If things go well and I survive 3 days of our member-guest this weekend, I will play in a senior mini tour event because I need to get this brain in concentration golf mode. Worst case scenario is I will play in the PGA Senior Championship in May [May 22-25, Senior PGA Championship, The GC at Harbor Shores, Benton Harbor, MI, purse=$2,000,000], and assuming the Tour doesn’t knock me out of The Legends category, I will then play with Mike Reid in that event in Missouri where 2 rounds will be on a Par3 track, which means I’m really not that far away from competing at their level [June 2-8, Big Cedar Lodge Legends of Golf, Buffalo Ridge/Spring Course, Ridgedale, MO]. Once again, I can’t say enough about Mike who called me again and said he wanted to play with me know matter what. He’s a quality human being clear and simple.
Good swinging to those who are soon to start a new season.
= = = = = =KEN Mini-Blog from 3-14-14 (didn’t get a chance to post):
This is my new foot. I’m now a left kind of person all together. The liberals are not going to like me very much. Anyway, I have a left foot so I can spin an drive better the bigger right toe sticks. I have to develop another swing now, because I’m swinging more like a real golfer instead of the old flip an hope. This foot that Stan & I have developed will change the way amputees walk. I’m so excited that my accident his now going to give a million or more a better life.
I can’t explain the details yet, because some mental moron will steal it. I will not take any money from thi,s just in case you think I might be that mental moron. As for my golf, the irons are so much better, the driver is a new story. I basically have to develop a new swing because I’m using more of a real swing instead of my old flip & hope swing.
I’ve decided when I do get in a tournament I’m going to let a couple of kids draw anything on my foot. I forgot to mention, I have to be barefoot or it won’t work. Someday I might be the only nut on planet Green who gets paid for endorsing a product on his barefoot. Did you guys notice my painted toe nails? I once had a girl who painted my Shepard’s toe nails. I’m also in the talk mode of doing a small 3-part serialized documentary with the Health & Wellness Channel. Mr. Munch and I will look just marvelous don’t you think?
Take care my friends,