KG’s Blog Post #74 – 8/11/10 8:11pm (shot lowest round ever as a “legolessgimp”, BUT…)

0 for 2,

Oh boy! I played yesterday and it was the least amount of pain I’ve had playing golf in over a year. I was so psyched that maybe we were getting ready to defeat the evil empire. However, last night and today were absolutely horrific. I’m holding out that this is still the beginning of the end for pain.

With that being said, I’m about to relay some really bad news for me. We all remember how the PAC elected not to amend a change and give me a year’s medical exemption – something that is done often, I may add. They rightfully gave Lanny & Curtis a lifetime exemption on tour when their status was running south – they both deserved this based on their careers on tour. One of their theories was that I would be able to get exemptions whenever I wanted. I have written every event that is left on this year’s schedule. I’m currently batting 0 for 2. Now I’m not saying that this is how it will always be, but I’m saying because of this I may have to shut everything down for the rest of the year.

My problems are numerous that they may not have thought of…

1) Do I endure pain and try to improve on my scoring abilities or just show up and hack it around?

2) Clearly at this point I can’t play more than one event in a row, so this to eliminates some events.

 3) I need to know much farther in advance on receiving a spot than normal as this tells me whether to get “ready” or not (the other guys are playing all the time, so if they get a spot it’s an ‘OK lets go’).

4) The work that I’m going to have to but into the game to try and play real golf again is massive and do I bother to do this if I may only play once every 5 weeks or so?  This is a pretty brutal physical amount of work that I just don’t know if I will/can do without knowing for sure that I’ve got a year to prove myself.

5) I’m a whining pork hound. There are only 3 women who I love dearly who really know what I’ve been going through.  I kid you not when I say that if a gun were handy I would have used it many nights to stop the pain. I’ve caused them to all cry because they were watching me cry, flip flop on electric bolt and scream. They don’t deserve that. I shouldn’t be doing that to them.

I may have made the mistake of using golf as my reason for living on. I’m in complete shock at the thought that I may have to face the truth. I’m ashamed of myself for failing, for thinking that I may have to say good bye to real golf. I wonder if the guys on the PAC will be looking themselves in the mirror one day and say, damn I screwed him over for all the wrong reasons. I know the other idiot won’t, but they might.

I probably should not be blogging while I’m sitting here in a state of a semi comatose. I’m starting to understand the old samurai warrior as he fought for love, but then failed. How do I go from shooting my lowest round ever as a “legolessgimp” and feeling like I’m on top of the world to free falling all in 30 hours?  Well, I must stop this belly whining before I say something even dumber than I allready said.

Be good my friends,

Ken

11 Responses to “KG’s Blog Post #74 – 8/11/10 8:11pm (shot lowest round ever as a “legolessgimp”, BUT…)”

  1. Randy Cobb says:

    Ken:

    Hope you saw a little of the Wyndham Championship on the tube over the weekend. At our Green Coat Breakfast of past Presidents and Chairmen a few folks asked me to pass along best wishes to you. I know ’89 was long ago, but those good times are in all our memories and we hope thoughts of those times in Greensboro stay with you also.

    Best of luck on your progress and comeback!

    Randy Cobb

  2. Justin says:

    Far from failure, that’s all I have to say. Golf does not equal life. You realize that and great things are in store for you.

  3. Guy P says:

    Hi Ken,
    I just watched a piece on you on CNN which led me to your blog. What little bit I’ve read and know about your situation I’m can’t really contribute much other than my support and encouragement to get through this time. Having been through depression and a sense of despair many times I always try to know that things always change, and the situation will improve with time. I do believe that work conquers despair, and that there are always new opportunities in life. I don’t know if working with returning vets or introducing kids to golf is an option, but thought it might be rewarding. I hope you’ll find something beautiful in every day ( advice to me from my mom).
    Feel free to write at this e mail if you like…

  4. N.G.Simon says:

    Oh!ABTW,fink funchem!!!

  5. N.G.Simon says:

    there is no way you are a failure,you’re way ahead of a normal schedule[and who ever said Ken Green was normal] for rehabilitating your limb.There are times when you can question your resolve,but you are destined to do more!I believe you’ll continue to improve and soon will hit the links full bore!God Bless,Heal,and Comfort you,Ken Green!

  6. Bob says:

    Ken,

    Try not to get so down on yourself. Keep progressing and the opportunities will arise to play “real golf.” Remember, there is always Monday qualifying. Get healthy and get your game completely back and they can’t shut you out. You obviously have a great amount of natural talent to accomplish what you have over the last year. You could probably find a way to play respectably with only one arm, too!!! (Don’t test that theory out for real, OK?) As for the pain, one pain-free round is better than no pain-free rounds. Your body will eventually get used to the rigors of golf. We are looking forward to following you around at the Dick’s Sporting Goods Open again next year. My prediction is that the crowd will be cheering you on coming up 18 on Sunday because you are in contention….NOT because you are playing on one leg.

  7. Montana Mike says:

    Ken,

    I am a “Life Member” of the PGA – news bulletin – there is MORE TO LIFE than golf. I now own a lodge and rental cabins in Alaska – try that for a challenge! Ken, give your body a chance to heal! The time table you are trying to operate your golf life under appears to be not realistic and your body is trying to tell you something. What you have done with your golf game, since your accident, is simply amazing, A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! BE PROOUD! Sometime I should tell you what it is like for a “old warm weather golf pro” to lose electric power in the dead of winter in Alaska, -30 or so, in the middle of darkness, wander around wirh flashlights, in the snow, starting and checking generators so the place/pipes don’t freeze. Besides that, catching salmon is a kick! Life offers LOTS! Choices, we all make them!

  8. Jim Curley says:

    Ken,

    What Lee and Tom have said above is absolutely true, the problem is, they don’t look at it like you do. If I was to have an accident or an injury that would physically not allow me to do my job, I don’t know how I would handle that.

    What everyone needs to remember is this, in your mind, it’s not just playing golf that will make you a success, it’s earning a living playing golf that will be a success, and on the flip side, it’s you not being able to earn a living and be out there every week with the guys that has you feeling like a failure.

    Ken the point is, there are many ways to make a living in golf, playing on tour is just one of them. If you truly love the game the way you have always said, then find a way to make a living on the game, and be at peace with the fact that you have had a great career as a professional golfer. Arnie has had to do it, Jack had to do it, just for different reasons. They got old and crusty and couldn’t play anymore. The reason they couldn’t play is irrelevant, the fact is, when they couldn’t play anymore, they found other ways to make a living in golf without having to swing a club.

    As you know, I am an amputee who plays golf. My day job is as a physical therapist. Find a way to earn a living in golf, and be a productive member of society, and your stress and anxiety about not being able to compete will resolve itself. You have nothing to fear, but fear itself.

    Take Care,

    Jim Curley

  9. Tom Batewell (Fort Mill, SC) says:

    I acknowledge that it is much easier for us “posters” to reply back with encouragement without living the fight that you are enduring day in and day out. I would have to agree with Lee that the word “failure” can’t be used to describe your continued efforts, what you have already done is a true success. A very inspiring story for many in this world and maybe that should be your motivation to continue, maybe you can use this challenge as motivation for others facing similar circumstances. You have a tremendous life experience that could be shared with others.
    Clearly if the pain can subside your ability, drive, and talent will carry you in the mission. It’s the “X” factor at this point that you have to monitor which will determine where this goes. My hope is that the treatments you have tested work soon and provide you with what you are searching for, in the meantime please keep fighting.

    I know that you are 0-2 for getting exemptions but if Rock Barn isn’t one of them and an option to play in our house is open to you, be a thrill to have you.

    I’m praying for a cooperative leg and the pain goes away.

    Tom in Fort Mill, SC.

  10. Hey Ken,

    Sounds like you’re getting a tad impatient. I know it’s hard to wait things out, and believe me I have come back myself from shoulder surgeries, knee surgeries, and the like, and wanted to get right back in there and perform at my old level. Now granted, me being an eight handicap versus you being a Professional are worlds apart… but we all play at our own levels.

    I am the king of impatience myself. I pushed too hard and too early on my last knee op and had to have it redone. It taught me that the body will heal on its own schedule, not mine. I healed in my 20′s three times faster than I do now in my late 40′s. I have learned the hard way that you have to be patient, and let things go their course. Of course I am not trying to compare your injury to mine, I am just stressing that these things take time… and as “A” type personalities we all push ourselves to the extreme.

    I also want to remind you what an inspiration you are to everyone whose life you touch. You show us all that no matter what happens, we can still persevere. You have taught me, and my seven year old daughter that there is nothing a person can’t do when they put their mind (and a lot of pain and hard work) to it. You have already accomplished more in the last couple years than many will in their entire lifetime.

    Hang in there my friend… things will get better. One day you will look back at this hurdle and laugh… all the way to the leader board. Millions of us are pulling for you, and we are all walking alongside of you as you take this journey… as is God. If you ever lose sight, or despair, just remember that we… all of us… are all here for you.

    Fell better, play well, and may God hold you in the palm of his hand as you go through the tough times. We will be pulling for you, and praying for you.

  11. Lee D says:

    Ken,

    You have no right to use the word “failure” when it comes to anything you have done, or will do.

    You know that I am dealing with MS and can no longer play either, and have faced that-I think it is the pain that is “talking” here for you—–

    If in fact you do not reach your playing goal, “failure” CAN NEVER BE USED in describing what you have attempted—in fact, the things you have accomplished in such a short period of time is incredible—THAT is the word you should use.

    The battle is long, and sometimes looks like can not be won, but just the effort of fighting is enough!

    Be well…….keep in touch

    Peace

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