KG’s Blog Post #32 – 1/26/10 1:24pm
Posted By Ken | 01/26/2010
Hello My Friends,
Well, today is another sad day. I’m sorry to say that my youngest son Hunter has passed. His journey in life has ended and i can’t tell you how difficult understanding this is.
Jeanne and Billy will meet him and they will watch over all. I’m also baffled at the fact that his Mother elected not to tell me about his passing. I can only hope the anger his family as will end and they can continue their journey in life without such anger.
I fought hard for my son and lost the battle. We had a stranded relationship but my love for him never diminished once. All parents know what I’m speaking of. I’m not really sure what to say but thank you all for all the support and love you have shown me.
Mr. Green, I don’t really follow golf that well to know who you are, but after reading about what has happened to you throughout your career, I felt inclined to give you encouragement to stay strong through your trials and tribulations.
My life almost seems parralel to yours in certain ways, minus the athletic ability. I was injured in a horrific accident that nearly cost me my life. I was crushed by a crane while working in the oil field of the Gulf of Mexico. I busted shoulder, four poped ribs, a small puncture in my right lung, and all of the cartilidge pulled loose from my breast plate left me wondering if I was going to die. Surgery on the shoulder happened, and while recovering, I found out I had another son, HUnter and he was almost two years old. That was additional strain on my marriage of just 1 1/2 years, but things worked out for the time being. Almost a year after I was injured, my Babyboy – Billy T., slipped out of the house one morning before me or his mother woke up. He went down to my landlord’s pool and went swimming without us. I turned 24 years old in a funeral home burying Billy T. He was two years, six days, and nine-teen minutes old. Marital problems got worse, my life was going down the drain, anytime I tried to see Hunter his mom said they already had plans. Things were not looking up for me at all. I received a settlement from my injury that was well below what I was expecting, but still generous in the eyes of the oil system and laws that governed that type of settlement, things were looking up, I went to a lawyer and finally got my visitation with Hunter structured through the courts. I finally had money to go and spend, and boy was it easy to spend it. 18 months after I got that settlement, I decided to go to work in Afghanistan, mainly because I was prettymuch broke by then. I spent the next 18 months working in Afghanistan as a contractor, sending home a good chunk of money each month, which, coincidentally, never was enough. I finally quit and went home after I found out that my wife was a month pregnant, but I had not been home in over 6 months. Strange how that works – especially when you figure in the $90K that she managed to spend leaving me with about $30K of debt. It did not take long for the divorce to become finalized. Two months after I was officially divorced, I went to work in Iraq. I have been working in this country for over 5 years now. I have been through a lot of pain and misery, and I almost gave up several times along the way. I dated a woman, it didn’t work out, and I have a daughter with her now. My Babygirl is 2 1/2 years old and a complete mess. I have a fiancee that truly loves me and respects me and would walk the world for me, and I would do the same for her. We are making plans to buy land, she is going trying to get a nursing degree, we are both working toward a future for not only us and my kids, but the 10 kids that she wants and I gladly want as well. We have very dependable modes of transportation, even if one is a little flashy (2007 Shelby GT500). We have love, determination, grit, needs, wants, and a willingness to not give up. I want to encourage you to keep trying. Never give up. Had I given up, I would not be able to write this today, I would not even be here. I would most probably be buried next to my son had I just thrown in the towel and called it quits in the face of adversity. You can get back out there and get back to doing what made you a great golfer in the first place. I carry Billy’s spirit with me to encourage me to keep going. He wouldn’t want me to give up. It has been 8 1/2 years since I lost Billy, and I still hear him laughing from time to time. I look at my 11 year old son Hunter, who is 6 months older than Billy, and I wonder what Billy would be doing today. It drives me crazy to hear Kenny Chesney’s “Who You’d Be Today” and I have to choke back emotions when it plays, but I can never turn it off when I hear it. Never let the memory of your family fade. Keep them in your heart, soul, and mind and use it for strength. Allow yourself to be great, and use your family as your inspiration. Dedicate your ability to them, dedicate your game to them, and dedicate your life into making sure that their memory lives on.
I wish you well. I can’t say that it is easier today than when it first happened, but I can say that my ability to handle it is better now than when it first happened. Stay strong, live life, and excel in greatness.
Ken;
I cannot imagine the pain you must be going through. There are alot of good people making comments on here who have also, lost a child and I hope that what they say to you proves helpful. May God watch and keep you safe.
Ken:
Joe Doceti, Jr. said it all about who you really are.
You are in our prayers.
Bob
I heard this on the news this AM. I’m sorry Ken, I don’t know what else to say. Peace be with you in this difficult time.
Ken: I, like all of the others here am shocked and saddened by your loss. My family and I will continue to pray for you and your healing, both physical and emotionally. It’s really easy to ask why, but allot harder to get the answer. Please be strong Ken, there are allot of folks that care about you and are praying for you.
Warmest Blessings, Larry
Dear Ken-
My deepest sympathies are with you at this most difficult time. As you can see from almost every post here, you have the heartfelt sympathies of many true friends, loyal fans as well as many who just ‘met’ you. I hope you can take some comfort in that.
I am also sorry that in this difficult time, you have had the added burden of dealing with spiteful actions of your ex-wife and her daughter Brooke Baker. I think it is so very sad that at a horrible time like this, two people who must also be hurting choose to inflict further pain on you rather than dealing with their grief in a constructive way. Their actions surely speak to their character and I am sorry that Hunter had to be raised in an environment that is so obviously full of hate and spite. I hope they find a way to turn their bitterness into something positive for Hunter’s sake. Brooke seems particularly unstable at the moment so I hope she gets the help that she obviously needs so desperately. I pity someone with such deep and pathetic rage.
God Bless you Ken.
I can’t imagine the pain & suffering your experiencing. I hope that you have Christ in your heart & know that God feels your sorrow & pain. God gave his only son Jesus to die for us to have eternity in heaven if we believe. Stand on your faith & God will get you through this difficult time in your life. God has plans for you as he does for us all. I’m sorry that some family members can’t forgive & move on. So great that God forgives us. I’ve never written on a blog before but was so compelled to after I saw what you have gone through.
My prayers will go to heaven for you tonight,
God be with you,
Bren
Well Ken,
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I have two things in common with you, I too love golf like crazy, I’m a dentist but I play at least 4 times per week. Secondly I lost my 29 year old son last year. I know only a part of what you are going through. I will keep you in my prayers. I read a book that someone gave me, that has helped our family immensely. It’s called A Grace Disguised, by Jerry Sittser. He lost his mother, wife, and daughter in a car accident and wrote about his recovery in it. It may be some time before you could read a book such as this, but give it some time and maybe it would minister to you. God Bless
Ken,
With a heavy heart I want to tell you I am sorry for your loss. Stay strong and fight. You will push through this.
One of my favorite movie quotes was when Tom Hanks said in Castaway, the greatest thing about tomorrow is “who knows what the tide will bring…” Keep doing what you are doing and good things will come.
My best wishes are with you.
I am deeply saddened by the news of you losing your son!! I cant even imagine the pain you are feeling!! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers!!!
Dear Ken,
My husband loves playing golf and I remember him mentioning you and the accident last year, then today I read about the loss of your son. My heart goes out to you. Our family has gone through some tragic times and we were touched by people we didn’t know taking the time to write words of encouragement. So I am offering those words to you and pray that you and your family will feel God’s comfort and strength to get through these most difficult times.
Our deepest sympathy in the loss of your beloved son, Hunter. Tragedy in any way is not overcome easily. Over our 50 years of marriage, we have suffered time and again as situations out of our control seemed to overtake our lives. Our prayer is for you to trust in our Father in heaven and take your sorrows to him. He will take you to nothing he will not see you through. Our love… the Wood family.
Ken, I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot comprehend your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Stay strong. I pray that you are able to focus your energy and return to the elie level of the golf tour.
Ken,
I was deeply saddened to here of the loss of your son, Hunter. I have watched the PGA for many years and tried to keep track of the players of my generation; of which you belong. I admire you for your desire to come back and adversity involving the tragedies you have been through. Please know you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers to get you through this terrible ordeal. May God bless you and your family. I’ll be waiting to see you on your comeback, stay strong and lean on your friends when you need to; they are there to help!!!
Hi Ken. Just read you’re blog and am so sorry about the loss of your son. It may feel like you’re drowning in sorrow right now, and I want to share something that can give you REAL hope. The Bible promises that we WILL see our dead loved ones again, right here on earth in PERFECT conditions where we’ll never have to die again. Acts 24:15 tells us that there is going to be a resurrection of the righteous and the unrighteous. Psalms 37: 9-11,27 says that the condition that the earth will be peaceful and full of righteous people who will live here forever and Revalation 21:3,4 says that death, sorrow, pain and suffering will be done away with. Imagine seeing your son again under those conditions! These are the conditions that will exist under the kingdom that we all pray for in the Lord’s Prayer at Matthew 6:9,10. This is a sure hope, for the Bible assures us that God’s word is truth! (John 17:17) Please feel free to email me.
Oh you poor darling! I remember watching you back in Grand Blanc Michigan at Warwick Hills and you were the hunter! Seems like terrible times have been hunting you for some time. It has been over 20 years since I followed the PGA regularly but I saw this article and I remember what you were like and I just wanted to Send you my condolences and wish you well on your journey into your future! Inspire yourself and inspire us! Good Luck to you ken!
P.S I just have to add this, it is really sad that your relationship with your son was strained at the time of his passing, however your ex-wife must be a real B—-! How dare she not tell you your own son passed away. OMG YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Why do some people’s exes have to be so cruel? Well I hope you can get past it and hope to see you do something great!
Kenny, you have endured more pain that one person can possibly take. Our prayers are with you in the very difficult time. God Bless your son, you and those you love!
The Smothers Family
Raleigh, NC
Words cannot express how terribly sorry I am for your loss. Your courage and strength in life is beautiful and inspiring. I wish you peace in this time and know that strangers out there are praying for you. Sending you all my love and positive thoughts.
-Christina (Troy Matteson’s sister in law)
Ken,
I too saw your story on “Real Sports” and was very inspired. Many have made mistakes in life but so few have had to face the loss and difficulty you have seen. But rarest of all is your ability to keep fighting- Please keep the faith; I know that things will somehow get better for you…
Dear Ken,
At this overwhelmingly sad time, please know that you and your son will remain daily in our prayers. I’m sure there are thousands out there who share your enormous pain and pray for you, just as we do. I hope you can take some comfort in the knowledge that your son is in God’s hands in a far, far better place. Be strong, my friend.
It seems as though you have had more than you share of bumps in the road of life. I don’t know you – I don’t follow golf, but as a parent I know that we can handle anything that happens to us just leave our kids alone. You have realized a huge fear that we all face when we our children leave our wing to begin their venture into adulthood. My heart aches for you loss. I hope you can find comfort in knowing that your sweet son is safe and will be with you always. In those still moments when a there is a moment or a situation that seems either a bit odd or really familiar know that Hunter is right there with you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Blessings
Dear Mr. Green,
I am not a parent, so to say, “I understand,” would be a gross lie on my part, but they say losing one’s child is the hardest tragedy of all to bear. I have witnessed first hand what losing a child does to people and I am left wondering how someone can survive such a shock and actually continue to live, but I have been told faith helps.
If you have faith in a higher being, lean on your faith. There are no answers as to “why” it happened, but one must have faith that the Divine does have a purpose.
To give your wife the benefit of the doubt, she may be in such shock herself that she may not believe the news yet or perhaps she did call but got your answering machine and didn’t want to leave such a tragic message.
As to how to get over it, there don’t seem to be any answers. Each person has to come to terms in their own separate way. Allowing yourself to grieve is imperative, and I certainly hope you are able to do that. Be aware that you will be “hit” at unexpected and inopportune times. You will “see” the face of your son in others wherever you go. It will stun you, and you may lose control over your emotions. But this, too, shall pass.
Your son may come to you in a dream, send the aroma of his favorite food your way even when there isn’t anything cooking in your kitchen, lights may turn on or off on their own, light bulbs may pop, etc. If feathers were “magical” for him as a child due to a story you may have told him, you will find a feather unexpectedly. There are many ways that those on the other side communicate with us. Do not close your mind to this or let your logic get in the way. When your son transitions into the heavenly realm he will understand that your love for him did not diminish even though your relationship at the time of his passing was stranded. I believe he will come to you because your relationship with him is “unfinished business” for him that he will want to give closure to. His sign could come immediately or it may not come for years. Time on the other side of the veil is not like we experience it here on this side. You must be patient but you must also be alert.
I am not a golf follower. I do not know you, I do not know your entire story, I only saw a link about a pro-golfer whom tragedy struck “again” and I clicked on it, thinking it was you-know-who. While you may need to take some time off from golf to grieve, do not give up on it entirely; it will actually save your sanity by giving you something else to concentrate on.
Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty for playing golf, and most of all, don’t take on unnecessary guilt. While guilt is part of the grieving process, you must allow yourself to believe you did the best you could as a father under the circumstances.
I hope my message isn’t too “far out” for you. Peace be with you and God bless you in this, your hour of need. I will say a rosary for you.
In Faith and Light,
Sally
I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family.
The struggles of a golf pro are well known from someone who lives in Pinehurst. Many struggle their whole lives and never succeed at their chosen profession.
You’ve accomplished much, as compared to those who have gone before you. Once again you will be asked to accomplish much as I read of your plight, expressing and feeling the sadness that I know you are experiencing this moment. My prayers are with you. The darkness, the sadness that any parent has with the loss of a child is beyond words.
We strive to raise, nurture and see our children grow.
The loss that you have had is unimaginable to me. I pray that the Lord give you strength to guide you and your family through this difficult time.
Stay strong.
A fan,
Bill
I am not a golf fan and to be honest I have never heard of Ken Green. However, I am a human being and all my sympathies are with you and your family. Your story is both tragic and inspiring. Hang in there Ken better days will surely find you. I have dealt with many sad days as my youngest son was diagnosed with cancer at the tender age of 2. I know how hard life can be, you are an inspiration.
Dear Ken,
If thoughts and prayers have the power to heal, then here are four more!
We also wish for you success in the coming year. Your struggles are a testiment
for the inspiration that you are!!
Sincerely, the Yowell family
I ran across your story today and even though I dont keep up with Golf, I was touched by your story. Im just praying that you have a lot of faith and that you are able to get through these trials. Im so sorry you are going through all of this. I cant even imagine such tragedy. I pray that God will give you strength and courage and that He will send people into your life to comfort you through these trials. You are in my prayers.
I just read about you and your son , i am truely and deeply sorry .God bless you and your family.
I am so sorry to hear of your son. I don’t think anything can compare to losing those we care about. I am so sorry that you have endured so much pain and loss. Know that people care and are sending you love and support from afar.
Sincerely,
Teresa
hang in there my friend. I promise you peace will come. hunter has not left you & he never will. Listen closely & let him be the angel & the strength you need. Think of destiny , we do not always understand it but destiny is determined for purposes. You obviously have a purpose here. Wether it be to show people as a public figure that they can overcome anything or not so be it. hang in there my friend. I am having some very tough times the past 5 yrs & tragedy as well. I can only imagine losing a child for that I have not. I only know you are here for a reason I feel it. My prayers are with you in healing your soul enough to move on & use this gift in life. God Bless you . Hunter RIP & give me a fly by sometime I could always use another angel. I know you have your dad’s back.
Ken,
You are in my thoughts and prayers. May God’s Grace see you through this tragedy.
My heart goes out to you and your family. i feel so sad after reading of your recent tragedies. some days r going to be harder than others , but you can’t fight it. i lost my mother 12 years and i still cry every time i think of her, and god knows your pain has to be much worse at losing your child, but don’t lose faith in your God, for he knows best.. I will keep u and your family in my prayers ….stay strong u now have another angel to watch over you family…….God bless your family
Ken,
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this tragic time. I was inspired and moved by your story on “Real Sports”. I can’t imagine the pain and loss you’ve endured over the past 10 months but know that your courage, fighting spirit and strength are admired greatly. Stay strong my friend…
I am so very sorry to hear about the passing of Hunter. Although I did not know him, I am sure his potential for greatness would have been huge. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time of sorrow.
I am so sorry to hear of your troubles of the last few years. I saw you play several years when I lived in Phoenix. It is so discouraging when life seems to go so very bad. I wish there was something I could say but there isn’t. I have been unemployed for over a year. I know what it is like to wonder how you will get by but you just do. And I am so sorry to hear about your son. My prayers will be with you and your family. When you have the will to move forward please do so, you are a courageous man. Please take good care of your self!
I lost my son in Oct of 2009, so i understand the pain and heart ache you must be feeling now. Sometimes it seems it will never end, but time will help heal some. I already know that you have incredible strength to go on every day. It is that strength that will see you through all this. I know that watching your comeback is inspiring to all. May you find some rest and peace through all this.
I am truly sorry for you hardships and loss.
KEN,
Iwant to start off buy telling you how sorry i am to here about your son,i know you may seem like evrything is going wrong,but try and stay strong your a fighter you have inspired alot of people with your hard work and determination.remember the positives they always outway the negatives..my son and i love golf, even though were not that good, but i would rather watch somebody like you somebody who is giving all they got and fighting to rise to the top.there is only one direction you can possibly go now ken that is up..you have been through everything almost possible..good luck to you..and i am sure you will here it a hundred times but stay strong and keep the faith..
Ken,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss and cannot even comprehend your emotions at this time. You and your family are in our prayers.
My husband saw your story on “Real Sports” last week and I have been trying to find a way to contact you since then. My husband had his right leg amputated in Sep, 2008, because of blood clots. Since that amputation, he has had problems healing and been in a lot of pain. We finally found Dr Janos Ertl, he is here in Indianapolis Head of Ortho at Wishard Hospital and he performed the Ertl procedure on his leg. It is healing and he is no longer taking pain medication. I want to let you know about Dr Ertl and the Ertl procedure because my husband said you were in pain. You can read about the procedure on the internet at ertlreconstruction.com. Another site is bonebridge.com which has a page about the Ertl Bonebridge. Dr Ertl also did Heather Mills’ leg and she talks about it on her site. Maybe you already know about Dr Ertl, but after hearing your story I had to try to let you know just in case you didn’t.
Hopefully, this will help heal you physically and we pray that you heal emotionally.
Dear Ken,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. My wife and I lost our 22 year old son last year while he was attending college. I know the phone call you received and my heart goes out to you and your family. Like your son, he was found in his apartment with no explanation for his death. Waiting for the process of information is agonizing, but it was finally determined he passed from SUDEP. Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy, basically a person has a seizure and his electrical energy from the brain to the heart and lungs disconnect. Our son had never had a history of seizures or Epilepsy until about a year before his death. Even then he had a total of two seizures 6 months apart. We never knew you could pass away from a seizure. Doctors never explained this could happen, and later stated they didn’t want people to worry about SUDEP because they don’t know what causes it. As we have now learned SUDEP is more common in young men 20-40 years old and usually happens in their sleep. The coroner found nothing in his system or anything abnormal, and just explained that this can happen. I do not know the details surrounding your son’s death, but thought if the circumstances sound familiar you may get some comfort. Our toughts and prayers are with you and your family, and know he will always be with you.
Dennis K
my deepest sympothy to you and your family. i too lost a brother and try to understand why. but continue to believe and keep your faith strong because prayers will be answered.
Mr. Green,
I have seen you play and loved the time you spent with your fans, myself included. I can only tell you how sorry i am that you have met yet another painful tragedy in this latest chapter of your life, not that i can even imagine what you feel like today.
You are right about one thing: Hunter is around the people who loved him, who are no longer with us, and i hope that brings you some comfort.
My prayers and admiration,
Cat
I’m not even a golfing fan. I am just sad that nobody can understand your pain, what you’re going through; none of us can even understand what you have been through in the past. That said, all the same, my condolences and prayers and positive thoughts go out to you. I’m certain your son wanted only the best for you, Sir.
Annette R. Erickson
Anchorage, Alaska
I lost my 15 year old son in 1994 and I can tell you flat out.
NO ONE CAN DESTROY THE TRUE NATURE OF ANY CREATURE GOD HAS CREATED….and this has nothing to do with any form of organized religion.
If you stop for one second and just imagine that every soul goes to Heaven
then you can begin to understand what NON-PHYSICAL reality is.
The soul is eternal and it didn’t get there by accident.
I can’t tell you why these challenges keep coming at you, but it’s obvious
that you are suppose to figure it out.
Love can replace suffering every time if soul awareness is properly developed.
My prayers are with you.
Michael Timothy McAlevey
Hi Ken,
Our family will be praying for You and Your family during this difficult time. I know the separation you speak of with your son, I have gone through the same, and it is hard. In my heart, I know that your son loved you, regardless of that separation, now you need to take the time to heal and to forgive yourself, for true healing cannot happen until YOU forgive yourself. otherwise, it will keep cropping up. forgive and Throw it in to the sea of forgetfulness!
Ken,
I’m deeply sorry to hear about your son. I don’t have children but no parent should have to be around to witness their child’s death. I lost my beloved dog(Magick)this year and that was very difficult, so I can only imagine what your going through.
I actually don’t know much about golf, I saw your story on Yahoo and felt some kindred spirit with you. I’m a professional musician and thirteen years ago I began to lose my hearing
due to an inner ear disorder called Meniere’s disease. I continue to work as a musician- I had a cochlear implant four years ago in one ear and I wear a hearing aid in the other. But like you struggle with golf–I struggle with music as a professional and I need to continue to learn how work within the boundaries of my limitations and new technology that can help me. Hang in there brother. I will be praying for you.
Ken:
You are in my thoughts and prayers as you endure this grief. And I hope you will find some comfort in earlier happier memories of your son when he was child.
Ken, My heart goes out to you over the lose of your son. We will keep you in our prayer
Dear Ken,
I don’t know what could be said that would ease your pain. There is never a “good enough” explanation for this kind of loss.
I understand the ongoing battles with depression. I’ve read what you’ve been through this past year. You have already shown great courage and determination.
Please don’t give up. You will be in my prayers.
Ken,
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I don’t know if all things happen for a reason but many wise people have expressed this to me. If nothing else, with all of your pain and heartache you have been through we MUST believe this.
Stay strong
I am sorry for your loss. You have been through so much and now to lose your child, I cant imagine.Let God lead your way and he will truely be by your side.