KG’s Blog Post #104 – 5/14/11 11:02pm (A bunch of things, incl. Nipper Club)
Well, another historic day in the life & times of sir Kenneth John & friends. Just completed the Nip Open of the South at Three Dog C.C. (my house). 14 teams teed it up on the 15-hole layout. The studly division and the midget head division played a medal play format where the best 4 teams went into a playoff format to determine the champions. A Saint and a Steen were defeated on the last hole by a Guy with a Cuz.
The holes this year were set up in typical USGA style, but mine were clearly unfair and I made that perfectly clear, which I can’t say the other organization does the same. Without bragging too much about my creative juices, I will simply say that this year was a capsule of my Nip shots throughout my life. We had shots through the house window, thru the sliding doors, and a monster through the front door and out the back door. But also some simple ones, like aim at your partner and hope they catch the damn ball.
On top of that we had a 2-hour rain delay which allowed all to get well lubricated before we finished it off. Sadly, I did manage to piss one off: Munch was not happy he was not allowed to play. He was my caddy, and he is so close to being ready to loop it for me on tour. I can’t wait to piss off the tour one day when I show up with him pulling my bag.
Now, I must tell you that I will be visiting my prosthetic guru on Tuesday and talk to some people from MIT who have developed a new foot that may give us toes that might work like toes instead of those rock candy piece of sticks we have now. The bad news is that if this helps me with the ordinary issues we have like balance, hills, steps, sex (toes are very important in my sex life) and golf it will only cost about 45,000 dinars. That’s big bucks. I’m thinking of selling my body to save up the cash. However, with the thrills & chills I’ll be giving my ladies with my new toes I should be able to pay off the leg by 2035 – just in time for social security to go belly up.
I had a horrendous week with the head and leg both going berserk. I’m either getting weaker or the days are worse. I don’t want to seem like I’m bitching ‘cause there have been some good leg days lately.
I was watching the 19th hole, or something like it, the other day and I wish to say a few things. They all thought Mountagimpy belongs in the hall of fame. Not one win on American soil and you deserve the hall – good Lord. But I may be too hard on the guy who made double from the middle of the fairway to lose the US Open. Langer is in, but Lyle is not and he has better numbers – the politics in golf is disgusting. Aas much has I respect G Bush for his service to our country, I don’t think he serves to be in the golf hall of fame. A life’s hall yes but golf, no. Politics!
Ok, I’ve bitched enough for the moment. Have a good day and I’m hoping the shirts will be in before I head to Kentucky [May 26-29 2011: 72nd Senior PGA Championship, Valhalla Golf Club, Louisville http://www.pga.com/seniorpga/2011 ], but if they are not, I will get them out when I return. The Nipper Club has about 40 or so members, and I’m hoping we can get that moving in the right direction so when you do get your shirt feel, free to show the shirt to your friends and get them to cough up the 60 bucks for the club. I dropped the price by $10 because I got the shirts cheaper than I originally thought and I don’t want to rip anyone off. They are good shirts.
= = = = = = HOW TO JOIN THE NIPPER CLUB:
To join The Nipper Club, email KG directly at email@example.com and tell him “I want to join The Nipper Club”, and give him: your name, email, phone, address, shirt size, hdcp.
Then, mail your $60 check to:
Green’s Dog Haven
11854 Orange Grove Blvd.
W. Palm Beach, FL 33411