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KG’s Blog Post #128 – 11/4/11 3:02am (Several Top5 Lists)

So, I was talking to this insanely liberal lawyer friend of mine today and he said he couldn’t wait for me to blog about Sir Herman Cantaloupe. I’m saying he should have stuck to playing with the fruity cantaloupe instead of the lady cantaloupes. But, truly there is nothing better than the ladie’s version. My sources have indicated to me that this so called harassment occurred on the first day of April and therefore is irrelevant. Another mistake was not calling Sir Timmy Funchunk as master of damage control. Think about it, Tim successfully convinced the world I was an out of control rebel. He managed to help Tiger straight to divorce court. To this day no one knows the truth about Bean Demon and the Ping lawsuit. He still hasn’t released any fines publicly. Say what you will, but he has done many good things.

Because I’m the legless genius and am considering running for office, I need to let my 5 skeletons out of the coffin before my opponent buys my darling ex-wife.

1) I suck in bed

2) I spend more than I take in

3) I’m a diehard racist: ie, against people who hunt for fun. Why don’t they go hunt each other and the best man wins?

4) I’ve yet to play in a threesome

5) Unlike Tim “Treasury” Getnabbed, I am a dumb one iron and do not understand the tax code and therefore have cheated on my returns. I thought I was a conservative but I see the light now, I’m a liberal just like my friendly lawyer. 

Seeing has I’m on a Top5 roll, I’m now doing the Top5 golfers I have the Least and Most respect for:

Most: 1) Jack 2) Byron 3) Fuzzy 4) Bernhard 5) Price

Least: 1) Monty 2) Faldo 3) Seve 4) Daly 5) Snead

Top5 rough roads:

1) Ben Hogan 2) Eric Compton 3) The Babe 4) Stuart Appleby 5) Jose Maria

Top5 worst putters but really good players:

1) Miller 2) Lehman 3) Singh 4)  Wadkins 5) Langer

These may seem strange because some have won a boatload, but I think if Tiger-Jack-Tom had putted for these guys, they would all have doubled their wins. Lehman might have quadrupled his.

Take care,


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